An Open Letter to Those Who Yell “OH MY GOD! NO WAAAAAAY!!!” at Their Televisions.

Dear Dramatic Reactors,

It’s been said that I’m one of the least reactive people my loved ones know. Particularly while watching television/movies.

If something makes me laugh out loud… I laugh out loud. In the RARE circumstance that I feel connected enough to something on screen to cry…I cry. Under NO circumstance have I ever felt compelled to yell words at my television. Moreover, nothing has ever made me “awwwwwwwwwwww” out loud. This doesn’t mean I’m not absorbing what’s happening and it doesn’t mean I’m not forming opinions about characters and storylines.

I saw Suicide Squad the other night (which should really get it’s own blog post because it was that laughable) and the girl next to me COULD NOT stop making her feelings of affection for Will Smith and his on-screen daughter audibly known. With every “awwww” and “Omg so cute” that was uttered to my right I felt myself burning with questions.

DO YOU GUYS DO THIS SHIT WHEN NOBODY ELSE IS AROUND??? Help me understand. Do you feel genuine while you do it? Is this something people do to help the people around them better understand how they’re feeling while they watch? Is it like when I throw sarcastic comments at the screen to entertain the other people in the room?

And if you clap at the end of movies. Stop.

Apparently Void of Human Emotion,

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RoBot.